put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
