It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I FOUND THE LEGS
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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