if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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