yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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