So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
