just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
