it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
