I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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