Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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