Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
