just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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