so that wasnt chicken after all
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
