I haven't been this sober since birth.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
