Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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