im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
