he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
