WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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