i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
