Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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