Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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