i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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