im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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