One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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