the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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