More tranny stories later!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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