just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
