You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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