Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
