Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
