I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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