Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
bring money and cleavage
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
