she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
