I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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