The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
