Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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