Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
