her facebook's as public as her vagina
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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