I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize