Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So apparently I’m into choking now
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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