I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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