I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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