She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We were destined to go to rehab together
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
