i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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