people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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