I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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