Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
