I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
even my farts smell like vagina
We need to rekindle our bromance
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
