I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
