i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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