so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
