During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize