Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
