He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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