Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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