I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
