We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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