dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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